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March 15th, 2007

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December 20th, 2004

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December 7th, 2004

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December 3rd, 2004

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December 2nd, 2004

02:24 pm - Snippet What is it about grown men chewing gum that irritates me so? And why do they feel the need to chew it with their mouth open, making that smacking noise and exasperated breathing from chewing it? Current Mood: okay

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December 1st, 2004

10:35 am - What does this mean? Yesterday my sister asked to see an outfit I am planning to wear this weekend. I showed her the dress and she said, "that's not something I would picture you buying". To her credit, she also said it was very pretty...but what the hell did that mean? So I repeated it back to her in hopes of further explanation but all she said was "I'm learning a lot about you today". (she had just picked up a spaghetti strapped shirt of mine). I know the dress is one-shouldered and all, but what do you suppose that meant? Later on in the evening I was talking to her on the phone and I was saying that I had boughten a tummy cincher. I also brought up that what bothers me is that it's not tight, but yet it clings to the body. She said she could tell that from the material. So do you suppose this means that she was surprised that I would wear a dress that will cling like that, given my shape? Surprised I would wear something so revealing? Or I am just reading too much into the whole conversation? Isn't it interesting how one little usually meaningless comment can stick in your head and you'll go over and over it in your head. Kind of like beating a dead horse, gets you nowhere fast. Current Mood: confused

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November 30th, 2004

11:22 am - The Gift Buyer As in most marriages, I am the gift buyer of the family. My husband puts little thought into it, which explains the year we decided to spend only $20 on each other at Christmas and I got a car charger for my cell phone. Not much thought into that gift. In his eyes it was practical. In my eyes it was dull and took little thought. Now when it comes to birthdays, it has been bestowed upon me to be the official reminder to my husband of his family's birthdays. I'll give him credit here as 75% of the time he does actually remember. But when it comes to the gift it takes a nudge from the wife to get going on that. Gifts are usually bought at the last minute on the way out to visit the birthday boy/girl. When it comes to my own family, I'm aware of when their birthday is and start coming up with ideas far in advance. I try and put a lot of thought into it. Christmas, much of the same goes on. I shop for my family for a long time. Listening in on conversations, scouring ads looking for deals. I also end up buying (out of our joint checking) all of the presents for both sides. So it does eventually happen that I spend more on my family than we do on his. Before jumping on my case, you should know that his family is very cheap & always says we spend too much money when we spend $30 on something. I've always been a big gift buyer for my family. Buying gifts is more fun than receiving them to me, but I'm starting to wonder if my husband is going to figure this trend out. Take this year as an example. On my side, my brother, sister, myself, and our mates all exchange names. It's a 6 person drawing that we do. We started doing this a few years ago and I said when we did that that I wanted no monetary limit on what we could spend. I said if we were limiting who we were buying for, then I didn't want anyone to tell me how much I could spend. Well this year I ended up spending quite a bit on the names my husband and I got. Not as much as I have in the past, but more than I will be spending on any one member of his family this year. In truth, his family asked for very little and will make a big scene out of us spending a lot of money. Also, we don't have a lot to spend. And I just know my own family so much better than I know his. It makes coming up with ideas for my family 100 times easier. What we got our names on my side was something we both talked about getting them and agreed to. I guess I have a nagging feeling at the back of my head that eventually Dan will figure out this trend and start to get upset. I do not have this trend when it comes to nieces & nephews on either side. They get the same amount almost across the board. But it's easier for them. You can buy them toys...I can't buy adults toys unless they come from a dirty bookstore and even then they really wouldn't fit in our budget! (Not that I would know....) So tell me, how does the gift buying work at your house? Do you think it's common for the wife to do the majority of the shopping and in turn spend more money on her own family? Current Mood: calm

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November 24th, 2004

08:27 am - Give Thanks As Thanksgiving is tomorrow, naturally it's time to reflect on those things that I am thankful for in my life. Actually this process of listing the things we are thankful for reminds me of the episode of Seinfeld where George & his dad celebrated "Festivus: The Holiday for the Rest of Us". Festivus had the airing of grievances, the feats of strength, and also a pole which mostly resembled a stripper pole. Just for fun, when everyone is saying what they are thankful for tomorrow, do the airing of grievances and see if anyone catches on. :P Did you know that Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate Thanksgiving? Can anybody explain this one to me. I understand why they don't celebrate the christian holidays as they believe that Christ hasn't come yet, but what do they have against the pilgrims & native americans? Okay, here are the things I am thankful this 2004 year: * For my loving husband, who loves me no matter what I look like, no matter how bitchy I can be, and no matter how much of an ass I make of myself drunk. * For my great family & friends. You are the people that taught me how to laugh at life and enjoy it to its fullest. May your day be as blessed as mine, simply for you being in my life. * For my mom's cooking. Because DAMN that woman can cook! * For my health. While I complain about scale worries and wanting to eat this or that, the fact is I am a pretty healthy person. And while I can always use improvements, I can breathe without the help of a machine; I can run without the use of prosthetics; I can talk without the use of a machine held up to my throat; and I can go through the next year knowing that it will most likely not be my last. * For willpower & determination. While its presence might not always be as strong as I'd like it to be, it is always there. I just need to find a way to tap into it when I really need it. * For my job. Two years ago I was living in a town and desperately wanted to move home. My employer got me home and gave me a decent salary for a small town. Thank you for putting food on my table and providing me with a roof over my head. * For books. The ability to get lost in a story and forget that I'm even on the treadmill is priceless! * For G2G. Without which I surely would've gained all my weight back by now. I would much rather struggle to get to the next level than to be fighting off the weight I lost long ago. * For God. His presence in my life goes without saying. While I don't go to church nearly enough, I feel that He and I have a great relationship. Have a Happy Thanksgiving everybody!! Enjoy the ones you love! Current Mood: thankful

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November 23rd, 2004

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November 19th, 2004

01:33 pm - Pressure There are days when I feel a tremendous pressure put upon my weight loss efforts. Days where I think, "I've just got to get this weight off ASAP". This is mainly from myself, from an old eating disorder that lingers. This is also partly from conversations I have with people. Conversations with people who have 20-30 pounds to lose. People who've never been obese or morbidly obese. People who don't understand what it's like to have to face losing 126 pounds. What I hear from one woman a lot is this "I can't understand why you're not a toothpick as much as you exercise." Now this woman is over 50 years old. Hasn't really had a weight problem her whole life and now would like to take off about 25 pounds. She doesn't understand what my body requires and I understand that. She most likely hasn't exercised much in her life from my conversations with her. What she doesn't understand is that my body requires a certain amount of intense exercise to maintain my weight NOW. And to lose more weight I have to work even harder. And eat even less. The thing that bothers me is what her thoughts, and other people's thoughts are after similar conversations. They must think I go home and eat from the time I get home until I go to sleep at night. I know that seems a little far fetched, but the way that comments are worded....or the tone of voice makes me think that. Do they think that I workout only to go home and polish off a pizza & a pint of ice cream? Do they think I hide food? Or do they think I'm lying about exercise altogether? I'm halfway to my weight goal. And I've basically been at this weight for about 2 or so years now. Give or take some weight gain/loss. I know it takes a lot for me to just maintain this weight. And slowly but surely I'm coming to terms with what it will take to get the other half of this weight off. Some days I just don't know if I've got that kind of fight in me, that willpower, reserve needed to go that extra mile. Other days I have nothing BUT fight in me. The only thing I know is every day is different. Every day I face a new battle, and I'm going to handle it different almost every single time. So the pressure that I feel is mostly a mental thing, but I really do wonder what people think. Is that women disgusted by the fact that I might go home and binge all night? I know that I don't do that, but if she's so dumbfounded as to how I can be (her words here) "the size that I am and not be a toothpick", then what's to stop her from carrying out the rest of that thought? Truth of the matter is some people really are that shallow & ignorant when it comes to weight. They don't take the time to think past their own experiences or situations, so they make assumptions about other people. And then they judge people accordingly or "as they see fit". I personally don't feel like my situation fits in anyone's box of who I am or who I should be. But that certainly doesn't mean that people aren't placing me in those boxes on their own. The pressure I put on myself to succeed may just be my want to be normal and fit in the normal boxes. Current Mood: contemplative

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November 18th, 2004

11:38 am - Entirely too much information I’m eating a sugar free Hershey’s bar which makes me poop almost every single time. Not poop actually, full blown butt pee. I’m a glutton for punishment. See I told you it was too much information...don't say I didn't warn you. Current Mood: crazy

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November 17th, 2004

02:21 pm - Snippet I don't skinny dip, I Chunky Dunk! LOL Current Mood: giggly

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November 12th, 2004

02:01 pm - Adventures in Tonya's Cooking As my friends from G2G know, I recently attempted cauliflower mashed "potatoes" with minimal luck. Granted it is something that people might not get on the first try, but take a moment to look at my cooking history and you will understand how dysfunctional I am when it comes to such tasks. 1. I once set the oven on fire PRE-HEATING it! (my mother kept pans in there and always kept an egg pan that she washed about once a week....eeeww! There was a spatula in there and the handle melted onto the burner causing a small fire) Did I grab a fire extinguisher? No. I watched the fire until it went away. Not so brilliant in the kitchen. 2. I once called my mother to ask her how to make tuna salad. Yep, the stuff with mayonaise & tuna. 3. I recently called my brother-in-law to find out how to properly melt cheese in the microwave. While I felt the call to be legitimate as I didn't want to scorch the cheese (which I have done before thankyouverymuch), he found it to be quite humorous and suggested that if I have any trouble making toast I could call my 8 year old niece. 4. One time I made my mother's shrimp salad recipe following her very vague directions. My mom is an excellent cook and uses the "dash of this, pinch of that" method of cooking. Not me, I need measurements!! So my shrimp salad came out very yellow from far too much mustard (just a few squirts she said). Which I then attempted to counteract with more mayonaise. Pretty soon I was left with a big goopy mess that couldn't be salvaged. I had to throw away a big party-size bowl of the stuff that cost nearly $25 to make! 5. Finally, enter me on the South Beach Diet. Trying to spruce up the morning Egg Beaters. I decide to make an omelet. I called my brother to ask him how to do it as I know nothing. He tells me to cook over medium heat and poke the bubbles. Put the ingredients in the middle when the egg thickens and then flip it half over. I do all this while I'm unloading the dishwasher. I go to flip it over and what does it look like???? A PANCAKE!!!! Yep, I burned the eggs so brown they looked like a giant pancake. And the kicker is that I didn't have time to remake more eggs, and couldn't eat cereal or toast. So I had to eat the burnt omelet. Even after peeling most of the brown stuff off it wasn't very good. I even had to burn candles to get the burnt egg smell out of the kitchen. Now, tell me.....do you want me to come over and cook for you & your family? Current Mood: amused

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November 11th, 2004

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November 10th, 2004

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November 3rd, 2004

10:07 am - So how was your weekend? This was too funny not to share! Plus, it's more fun to look at than election coverage (at least for me anyways!). I went as Dolly Parton, and my husband is an old 70's car salesman. (sorry the image is so grainy, I couldn't get it to post unless I reduced the size of it) Current Mood: geeky Current Music: The Doors - Light My Fire

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September 29th, 2004

11:01 am - What would you do for $250,000? NBC is coming out with a new reality show in three weeks. It's called "The Biggest Loser". The premise of this show is that they've picked out a bunch of people that appear to be in the morbidly obese category. They are going to film them (probably all living together, so we can see the fighting/backstabbing that's sure to ensue - I mean it is a reality show afterall) over a period of time while they try and lose weight. In the previews they show them working out, getting weighed, and then something that I thought was just awful. It showed how the producers apparently tempt them with buffets of unhealthy food. With hundreds of cupcakes, donuts, etc. Personally, I think this is a horrible aspect of the show. But that's what makes it "reality" tv right? That being said, I'm sure I will be hooked immediately. The person that loses the most weight at the end wins $250,000. Now my question is, could you do it for $250,000? I told my husband last night that $250,000 would be enough to keep my ass away from Ben & Jerry's for life! I was bouncing around last night telling him how I should be on this show 'cause I could totally do this. Then he pointed out the obvious and shattered my little party. He said they will most likely have some guy on there that only eats junk food that after working out and eating right will drop weight extremely fast. I wish he was wrong, but I believe he's right. By nature it certainly seems that men are able to lose weight quicker and with seemingly less effort than women. Couple that with the fact that that person may be for the first time eating healthy balanced meals and getting exercise in and the pounds are bound to come off quickly (at first). What will be interesting is to see what period of time this will be held over and the dynamics of everybody's situation. Still, for $250,000 I'd give them a run for their money! That'd be enough money to seriously MOTIVATE! So tell me what you think...instant classic or trashy TV? I am torn between the ideas, but know I will be hooked immediately. Also, do you think money would be a motivating factor for you? Let me know your thoughts. Current Mood: curious

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September 27th, 2004

10:33 am - Weekend in Review I weighed in at 213.0 this morning. My goal for the weekend was to not weigh more than 1 pound over Friday's weight of 212.5. So mission accomplished! I had a very good weekend. A very big improvement from the last couple of months. I exercised on Friday & Saturday and took Sunday off. I was considering going for a bike ride on Sunday night, but my body was telling me to take a night off. I was sore all over and just needed a break. So I listened. I got all my f/v, water, and milk in all weekend long. This is a huge step forward for me! That pretty much NEVER happens on the weekend! So I feel really good about that. Plus I didn't even use all my flex points. I had 12 remaining after yesterday. That includes eating pizza on Saturday night. But for once I did the smart thing and fixed myself a salad along with it, and ordered a Thin DeLite pizza from Papa Murphy's. So the night turned out really good! A funny thing (well, not really) happened at the gym on Friday night. We were almost done with a very challenging Power Pacing class and the fire alarm went off. We had to evacuate. And even though we couldn't see smoke and thought for sure that someone had just gone out a fire exit door, three fire trucks came. Some poor guy had been swimming and was standing outside soaking wet! Well it took a while and being we were almost done, our class left for the night. I tell you, it was a Godsend that that happened. My arms were like jello and I was barely able to push myself anymore!! Needless to say I was happy for the "interruption". Have a great week everyone! Current Mood: chipper

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September 24th, 2004

10:57 am - Making An Effort My goal is to get through the weekend weighing no more than 1 pound more on Monday than I did today. My scale at home said 212.5. Actually I'm hoping to not gain a thing over the weekend, but I being I have only used 1 flex point and have 34 left, I know I will use them up. But I do have a plan. Eat no more than the allotted Flex Points. Workout on Friday & Saturday. Follow plan previously set for water, f/v, & milk. Plus my husband and I are going to be starting on a cleaning out project for two rooms including refinishing a desk & a dresser, so between that and 15 hours at my part-time weekend job, I should be able to keep myself pretty busy and away from the snacking. Having a good day so far. Turned down cake for a co-worker and instead opted for my orange. Today's lunch is out with my parents & sister. I know where we are going so I have planned out what I'm eating. I was supposed to attend a potluck in our break room at work, but instead decided I would be better off at the restaurant where I can have better control over what I'm eating. Tonight we are having tacos for dinner. Pretty much a first for us cooking on a Friday night. We almost always go out. This will be good in two ways, good for my points plan, and good for the checkbook! Also going to tackle a tougher Power Pacing class tonight. Should be hard, but hopefully lots of fun too. Have a great weekend everybody! Current Mood: happy

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September 23rd, 2004

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